Chapter Seven, Li Shishi

My head fell directly onto the coffee table and bounced a few times. No matter how hard I try, I can't understand why ancient people had a habit of wearing their undergarments outside. Li Shishi has an IQ of at least 150. After seeing my reaction, she turned around to examine herself and asked, "Is there something wrong?"

Li Shishi looked completely bewildered, so I had to rephrase it: "What about Immortal Liu and the Immortal Empress?"

It seems that Liu Laoliu brought Li Shishi to find me, but they ran into Baozi who was just about to go to work. Neither of them had the time, and Baozi treated her as just a friend. Just then, Li MM urgently needed to use the restroom, so Baozi shoved her into the toilet and ran off. It is likely that Baozi was the one who locked the door—only Baozi truly understands me.

I said with a smile, "Don't be so polite with me; I'm not a deity. From now on, just call me Brother Qiang. What about Liu Laoliu and your sister-in-law?"

Qin Shi Huang was pleased and said, "You strange woman, where are you from? I have never seen you before." I hurriedly replied, "She only existed 1,000 years after your death, and her husband is in the same profession as you." Jing Er Shao was completely uninterested in their conversation and extended his hand, saying, "Give me money"

Oh, I see, Liu Laoliu is trapped in his stock investments, serves him right

Being left alone is actually quite depressing for me. Firstly, I realize that my relationship with Liu Laoliu from the library is aptly described by the saying "the tree wishes for calm, but the wind does not cease." I will never know if he will suddenly appear in the next moment, accompanied by someone.

Fortunately, Li Shishi did not understand what I was saying. She said, "You know the xiao is wrapped in garlic skin; I can’t stand that smell at all"

I couldn't afford to ask so much; I just felt that I had heard the name "Shishi" somewhere. In a moment of urgency, I forgot how to address women from ancient times, like "MM" or "beauty"

Ah, thoughts, comrades, thoughts!

The last question is quite practical: how should the five of us sleep at night? Of course, I have the most wonderful arrangement in mind: I will share a room with Miss Li, Baozi will have a single room, and Jing Ersha will share with Ying Panzai

I said that Baozi is actually a very kind person. Although she does not understand why Li Shishi is wandering around the streets in traditional attire, she has already prepared a set of her own clothes for her

As Li MM descended the stairs, she wore sandals that revealed her rounded toes, and her long jeans accentuated those maddening curves. On her upper body was a playful Hello Kitty short-sleeve T-shirt, and then...! ... a bra over her outerwear! That familiar-looking lace-trimmed bra clung to Li Shishi, resembling a seductive female demon from promotional artwork in online games; it would be even more striking if she were to hold a fork or something similar.

I feel that I have started to become confused. Initially, I did not expect Liu Laoliu to keep sending people my way. If he wants to send them, so be it, but he is even changing their genders and sending them across centuries. At this rate, it is difficult for me to predict whether the next person to arrive will be Zhao Kuangyin, Nurhaci, or perhaps Fan Lihua or Wang Baochai

Ah, this is truly captivating; that smile is enchanting to the core. No wonder she comes from a background of elegance. Didn't Guo Degang once say that courtesans are skilled women? (No wonder he wasn't allowed on the Spring Festival Gala) ... I wonder if in Li MM's era they talked about things like ice and fire, oral skills, or BDSM...

I could only clasp my hands in front of my chest and stammered, "This... is worn underneath."

I patted the sofa: "Please sit down, miss. Feel free to make yourself at home here; this is where you come to enjoy life. In my territory, aside from killing and arson, you can do whatever you want."

However, beauty is often a synonym for unreality, and I agree.

Secondly, it is quite difficult for me to explain this to Baozi. I have yet to figure out how to introduce Miss Li to her. Do not be misled by her good treatment of Li Shishi; that is simply her way with outsiders. I even suspect that if someone were to threaten her family, as long as that person is not me, she would greet them with a smile. I must admit that I sometimes have some unsavory thoughts about beautiful women, but I assure you, they are merely thoughts. Baozi's deterrent power is like a virus firewall countless times more effective than Kaspersky, capable of nipping my thoughts in the bud. She has told me in a very natural and calm tone that if I dare to wrong her, I will immediately become the modern first person qualified to practice the "Sunflower Manual." We have reason to believe she possesses such ability and confidence.

Li Shishi exclaimed excitedly, "So does this mean I won't have to play the xiao anymore?"

Li Shishi took off her bra, studied it with curiosity, and murmured, "No wonder it's so tight (it seems she needs a size larger than a bun)." Only then did she realize I was still present, exclaimed "Ah," and hurriedly ran upstairs with a flushed face

... then I immediately thought of a person: the lecherous Gao Yanei, and then I recalled another individual from the same dynasty, involuntarily exclaiming: "Li Shishi?"

It was only then that I realized I was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, while Miss Li stood respectfully nearby. I was almost about to blurt out: "Come, sing a tune for me..." I reckon that even Emperor Huizong of Song wasn't this impressive back in the day

The Immortal Liu went hunting, while the Immortal Empress went to court

At that moment, Jing Ersha shuffled down the stairs in his slippers, rubbing his sleepy eyes and extending a hand towards me: "Give me some money, I need to buy batteries." Li Shishi politely bowed to him. Jing Ke, in his naive manner, asked: "New here?" I hurriedly introduced them to each other. Upon realizing that the person before her was the famed assassin Jing Ke, Li Shishi's eyes lit up, and she bowed deeply: "I never expected to meet the great warrior Jing here, it is truly a stroke of fortune. In my humble opinion, the warrior is the greatest hero of all time." Li Shishi, upon realizing that the person before her was the famed assassin Jing Ke, lit up with excitement and bowed deeply: "I never expected to meet the great warrior Jing here, it is truly a stroke of fortune. In my humble opinion, the warrior is the greatest hero of all time."

I did not know which nerve was triggered, and I casually asked: "What is your esteemed surname, young lady?"

Come on, are you trying to show off your writing skills? I was already well-versed in "Jin Ping Mei" at the age of 13, had my first encounter with Wutou Lan at 15, and at 17... Well, let's get to the point.

It hasn't run anymore; it must be the newcomer brought in by Liu Laoliu. But what about this old charlatan? Why is this so-called Master Shi in my bathroom? And where has the bun gone?

I said with a waterfall of sweat: "... of course, if you want to blow, then blow; if you don't want to, you don't have to. Science has proven that using that place is not hygienic..."

I gave Jing Ke two coins to send him away, and said to Qin Shi Huang: "You take your sister upstairs to play—do not bully her."

Li Shishi felt embarrassed for a few seconds, then smiled and said: "To call Brother Jing a hero is to praise him for not fearing the powerful Qin, for his word being worth a thousand gold pieces and for his dedication to books, disregarding his own life and risking everything alone. His Majesty is also a hero, having unified China and possessing a spirit that swallows mountains and rivers" How many thieves there are!

I heard the voice of the chubby Ying from upstairs: "What nonsense are you talking? Is he a hero or should he die?" Chubby Ying rushed down the stairs in three steps, glaring at Li Shishi with dissatisfaction. Li Shishi looked at me in confusion, so I had to introduce her: "This is Qin Shi Huang, from now on you can call him Brother Ying."

I was lost in thought when the ancient beauty gracefully descended the stairs, her face still flushed. She deeply bowed to me and said softly, "Master Shishi, I have met the lord of the fairyland"

The most practical arrangement is: Baozi and Li Shishi sleep in the bedroom. ... As for the rest of us, including Er Sha and Fatty, how we sleep seems to have become unimportant ...

Li MM noticed me staring at her and revealed a smile akin to that of a fool. She awkwardly cleared her throat and gently said: "Thanks to the guidance of Liu Xianren (Liu Laoliu), I have arrived at your esteemed place. I have just paid my respects to the local fairy queen and am grateful for your care. I did not expect to be so abrupt upon my first arrival, and I apologize for any offense caused."

Li MM covered her mouth and giggled: "Exactly."

The so-called queen attending court is probably just a bun going to work, but what kind of hunt is Liu Laoliu on? Fortunately, she added: "Liu Xianren left in quite a hurry, saying that a monster called 'China National Petroleum' has been trapped."